Our Lady of Evil
But then, again, what is that?
Recently someone shared with me a Substack written by pastor and author John Pavlovitz, in which he reveals his own shock at the animus of his white, Christian friends and neighbors in this time of social and political decay.
In a recent post about his increased awakening to the corroded hearts of his compatriots, he writes how he never saw the Trump phenomenon coming and how sickened he is by his parishioners’ and loved ones’ gleeful embrace of what is devilish in themselves.
“I surely never imagined that so many people I loved, lived with, worshipped alongside, or worked next to were as afflicted with [white] supremacy as they have revealed themselves to be. I never fathomed that so many people claiming to love Jesus would so resent foreigners, so worship America, and so abhor diverse humanity.”
“And this has been the most disorienting, stomach-turning, sickening part of this terrible season in America: the realization that I have lived near, worked alongside, and ministered around people who claimed to believe in Jesus while harboring such corrosive hearts—and that I was oblivious to it all. I am both angry at them and disappointed in myself.”
And all I could think was, “If you don’t confront God’s evil, you’ll never have a true relationship with God.”
One of the hardest lessons of any true spirituality and certainly of any serious exploration (and I use that adjective pointedly) of the Black Madonna’s bloody heart is that evil is not only real but, worse, subjective. What I find morally repugnant is someone else’s path to peace. Where they see a guiding star, I see Stygian ignorance.
Who’s right? Both and neither. More deranging, the question is ultimately unanswerable.
The Dark Mother does not ask us to be fanatical about anything. We can take up causes, as I have done and do; we can do what’s right, as I have done and do; we can live according to a moral code, as I have done and do; and yet, what She most asks is that we take off the goggles of self-aggrandizement and surety in order to see the world clearly. There is duality, there is right and wrong, there is good and evil, and all of those categories are a game with ever-changing rules.
Human sacrifice was not only sanctioned throughout history, but necessary to uphold the cosmic order of the universe. Now, it’s seen as barbaric (except in war and then it’s called “collateral damage” – tomayto/tomahto, I guess).
Incest is vile. Except if you’re an ancient Egyptian ruler and then it’s de rigueur.
Slavery is abhorrent. Unless you’re white colonizers. Or ancient Romans. Or the Aztecs. Or the Chinese down into the 20th century. Or…well…everybody.
On and on it goes, more and more diffuse become our most cherished virtues, until, and this is where that adjective “serious” returns in spirit, if not in usage, we realize She’s all of it – the good, the bad, the beautiful, and certainly the ugly. Until that recognition blossoms deep within us, we’re a white pastor who wakes up shocked – shocked, I tell you! – that white Christians are full of hatred toward people of color, immigrants, women, the gays, etc.
We are children in our spirituality, our philosophy, our psychology, whatever words you’d like to use to make yourself feel comfortable with numinous subjects, if we turn our eyes solely towards what is stamped righteous, and this childishness is encouraged by the patriarchal system of Christianity because good children, the kind of children who go to heaven, are easily duped. Bad children, the ones who question everything, who demand evidence, who want to know the reason behind the rule, who indulge pleasure and passion and magic are Her children, the Black Madonna’s progeny.
But then again, so is everyone, even the children I think are bad.
Paid subscribers get two additional posts a month, excerpts from the book I’m working on about the Black Madonna. Join the party.
Beautiful, simple, powerful and true! Jai Ma! Ki Jai!
Truly Greg. Thank you. Who are we to presume we know what Her designs are? All we can truly know is Life always returns, and Death always happens, in glorious cycles we can only catch glimpses of while in these human forms.